I normally don't bitch about my family here, because they read this (even though I've asked them not to), but fuck this, I've had enough. Let them read if they want.
I've been sick the past few days, as some of you know already.
All the time, my mother's been bitching at me. "Go tidy your room", "do some ironing", "why don't you study some", all of this blithely ignoring the fact that I'm SICK, goddamnit, and I can barely stand. I did some ironing this afternoon, just to make her shut up, and I felt like fainting afterwards (ironing when you have a temperature is, as you can imagine, not a good idea). She had the gall to bitch at me because I didn't tidy my room this morning, because I SLEPT this morning because I was feeling too sick and tired to get up (I slept 12 hours last night, it's not like I'm not getting enough sleep). And have I mentioned that tidying my room right now means tidying my book shelves, because that's the only thing that's untidy, and to tidy my book shelves I have to stand on a ladder, and I'd really rather not do that while my sense of balance is fucked because of the bad cold?
Of course, my mother says, if I'm feeling so sick that I can't do anything useful, I should go back to bed and sleep some more. Nevermind that I'm bored out of my skull, nevermind that I HATE being sick because I can do nothing at all, I can't even get out of the house, and this is fucking up all my plans, I was planning to go Christmas shopping (FINALLY) today, at this rate my friends will never get their presents in time for Christmas... nevermind that I'm lonely because the rest of the family is continuously busy or, when they're busy, they don't think about socializing anyway - mom is either working or knitting, dad is either working or playing his goddamned Flight Simulator game, my brother's either studying or playing his games - except when it suits them to tell me I'm being "antisocial" and tell me I should "socialize more", which of course for them means sitting in front of the TV watching something and not saying anything. Nevermind that I missed volleyball yesterday, nevermind that I'm missing my singing lesson tomorrow, nevermind that I'm most likely missing volleyball (again) and choir rehearsal on Thursday, making this week a complete waste from my perspective.
Nevermind that I'm bored and lonely and alone and I don't want to waste all my time in bed, not even if I'm sick.
And she seems to want me to smile and act happy no matter what sort of shit I'm going through. Nevermind that I'm feeling like shit and am unhappy, I should just smile, because who cares if I'm unhappy? Who wants to see that I'm unhappy, who wants to spend time to cheer me up? It's better if I just put up a facade of happiness, so the others aren't bothered by my being unhappy, because if I'm unhappy acting unhappy is SELFISH, apparently.
I wish I was somewhere else, I'm weary of this shit. My mother is being intolerable, and my father doesn't help either. And I've TRIED talking to them about this, but they just don't want to listen.
And I can never talk to my family about my problems, because they either don't want to listen, or say that it's stupid to worry so much about such a trivial thing, or that I should stop being grumpy and [clean my room / study / iron / do any other menial task they can think of] instead. Or they just say "how can you be unhappy, you have so much more than other people your age do, we bought you stuff, we bought you a new computer. Which is the worst thing to do.
Except of course when I'd rather cry alone, then they stick their nose into my business without considering my feelings.
And if they need help I have to run to them immediately, it doesn't matter what I'm doing, while if I need help nobody ever helps me.
And I don't have any privacy at all, every time they pass near the computer they look at what I'm doing, and if I'm talking with somebody they stop and stare at the conversation and get angry if I tell them to go away. And they say I can't be allowed to have a computer in my room because then I would never go to sleep but just spend all my time on the computer - bullshit, they just want to control me.
And I'm regretting not taking the chance to go live abroad now, I'm regretting it immensely. I'd be alone and scared but at least I'd be away from this shit.
I'd give all I have to be somewhere else. I can't stand this anymore.

i'm not sure if i've commented before but i have been coming to your site for a while now. and have enjoyed many of your posts. :) i'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time right now. i hope your family does read this post and wake up. i realize this is only one side of the story but it sounds pretty bad. i hope things get better for you very soon. just know that there are people out here who care - even if we don't know you very well. you'll be in my prayers. :)

Parenti e famiglia possono essere delle tali palle al piede certe volte... Devo dire che vivere da sola e' stato difficile all'inizio ma mi ha permesso di apprezzare i miei genitori di piu' - vederli una volta al mese migliora enormemente le cose. Non ti dico quanto ci litigavo io quando vivevamo insieme... Uf. Che fatica. Ah, curiosita': dove volevi andare a studiare all'estero?

Londra. ^^

Oh tra parentesi, per l'universita' vero? A che uni saresti dovuta andare?

MATTAAAAAAAAA e perche' non sei voluta venire qui? XD Credo che Londra sia l'unica citta' al mondo in cui uno studente non e' MAI solo - ce ne sono talmente tanti che devi per forza conoscere qualcuno. ^^

Non sono andata perché sono una fifona ^^; E mi sentivo molto nervosa all'idea di andare a vivere da sola.
Sarei dovuta andare... beh, probabilmente non la conosci - è una sede londinese della mia università che è una università privata. ^^

dimmi dimmi il nome - non si sa mai. Ma ti dovevi trovare un appartamento tu o ti avrebbero dato un posto in una residenza per studenti? Nel caso dell'ultima non ci sarebbe stato nessun problema... Tanti studenti che hanno paura di stare da soli si fanno compagnia (e si ubriacano *lol*)