I bought a magazine for women this afternoon, out of sheer curiosity, because it looked so thick and felt so heavy. It's the September issue of "Elle", for reference.
The thing is 23cm wide, 28cm tall, 2.2cm thick, and weighs 1.8kg. It's got, I estimate (I haven't read it all yet), between 25% and 50% of advertisements on the total of pages. No, seriously. What the FUCK?
That is not a magazine, that's an improper weapon. :p Imagine a poor guy trying to steal something from a woman wielding a magazine like this. "Your purse or your life!" "*whacks robber with "Elle" repeatedly* Go away." "Ow ow ow OW! *flees*"
Who the hell reads this sort of thing anyway? It's full of beauty tips, fashion advice, stories, sex tips, etc. Nothing too challenging.
Oh, and a rather amusing article on how designers are turning to sexual imagery for fashion, accessories etc. Amusing for all the wrong reasons, of course. Who the HELL would wear penis-shaped earrings? Imagine the looks you'd get.

My curiosity was satisfied by the supplies in hairdressers. They're all full of weak-minded garbage. I used to leaf through them when I was little, waiting while my mum got her hair cut.
Maybe Elle would be an effective replacement for your mallet?