(La Traviata is one of my favourite operas, for the record. I hope Verdi will not be beating the world record of grave spins... I just could not resist.
I'm putting it in the extended entry, both because it's a bit long and to spare those of you who don't like operas.)

ACT 1
(Scene: a party.)

<Partygoers group #1> You're late!
<Partygoers group #2> Sorry. Was at another party, got distracted.

(enter main female character)

<Violetta> Hey! Now that you're all here, let's have fun! Drinking makes everything better!
<Partygoers> Yeah!

(enter main male character, along with token friend)

<Gastone> Hi, Violetta! I'm introducing to you today a guy who's absolutely, utterly smitten with you. He's great!
<Violetta> Oh thank you! What a great gift!

(they sit down around a table)

<Gastone> As I was saying - this guy is absolutely smitten with you.
<Violetta> You're kidding.
<Gastone> Am not! He came to check on you every day while you were sick!
<Violetta> (stalker senses tingling...) Do stop joking.
<Gastone> I'm serious!
<Alfredo> Yeah, he's saying the truth.
<Violetta> ...well, thank you. (to token love rival of the main character) How come you've not done the same thing?
<Baron> I've only known you for a year!
<Violetta> Yeah, and he's only known me for a few minutes. You suck!
<Baron> (to token friend of the female main character) ...I HATE THAT GUY.
<Flora> Aw, come on. He's nice.

<Partygoers> Ahem. Aren't you forgetting something? Like, you know, drinking?
<Gastone> Ah yeah, right. Somebody come up with a toast please! Baron?
<Baron> Nah.
<Gastone> Alfredo then?
<Baron> ¬¬
<Alfredo> ...I really can't think of anything.
<Gastone> Aw, come on.
<Alfredo> ...well, since Violetta wants a toast, I'll do this toast then!
<Baron> ¬¬ ¬¬ ¬¬ ¬¬ ¬¬
<Partygoers> YAY!

<Alfredo> Let's celebrate LOVE! And love's warm kisses! *hinthinthint*
<Baron> ¬¬ ¬¬ ¬¬ ¬¬ ¬¬
<Violetta> ...right. Let's celebrate PLEASURE! Love is nothing. Let's have fun!
<Alfredo> LOVE!
<Violetta> Nononono. FUN!
<Partygoers> Yay! Fun!

(music)

<Partygoers> Wha?
<Violetta> Ah, that'll be your excuse to go away and leave me alone with Alfredo.
<Partygoers> Ah, right. Cheers!
<Violetta> Yes, I'll be right behind you... ah! I'm suddenly not feeling well!
<Partygoers> Are you ok?
<Violetta> Yes, yes, I'm fine. I'll be right behind you. Excuse, remember? Shoo!
<Partygoers> ...if you say so. (they wander off)

<Violetta> (looks at Alfredo) ...and why the heck did you stay behind?
<Alfredo> Well, I'm worried about you and all. You'll kill yourself this way, you know. You should take better care of yourself. Better yet, let me take care of you! I LOVE YOU!
<Violetta> ...right.
<Alfredo> I do! I've loved you for a year!
<Violetta> Sorry. No chance. Get lost.
<Alfredo> *pleading puppy eyes*
<Violetta> ...awww. Well then. C'mere.
<Alfredo> Yay!
<Gastone> ...and what the heck do you two think you're doing?
<Violetta> Ah! Nothing, really. Just having fun!
<Gastone> Fair enough, lovebirds.
<Violetta> (looks at Alfredo) ...you really should leave.
<Alfredo> Bah. Fine.
<Violetta> Oh, have a flower.
<Alfredo> ...?
<Violetta> ...token excuse to come back here tomorrow, dummy.
<Alfredo> ...right. Yay! (leaves)
<Partygoers> Time to go! Bye! Thanks for the party! (they leave)

<Violetta> Hmmm. Maybe he's the man for me. You know, the One True Love? ... ...... .........nah, can't be. Love doesn't exist, and all that stuff.

ACT 2
(Scene: a beautiful house in the country.)

<Alfredo> I'm so happy! Violetta loves only me! It's been three months and we're so happy together!
<Violetta's servant> Hey. I just came back from Paris, I was there to sell Violetta's stuff to finance this pretty house, like she told me to do.
<Alfredo> OMFG NO. Male ego hurt. Honor hurt. Must go get own money and help out. (leaves)

<Violetta> Lalalala happy happy. Oooh, invitation to a party, but I'm not going, nyah!
<Alfredo's father> Hi.
<Violetta> You are?
<Alfredo's father> <---
<Violetta> Ah. You want? Look, if it's about the money, I won't accept money from him, I'm paying for this place by myself.
<Alfredo's father> Ooh. I didn't know that. You're a good girl!
<Violetta> (preens) Thank you!
<Alfredo's father> But I must ask you to dump Alfredo.
<Violetta> ......
<Alfredo's father> Since you're a former whore and all, can't have you associating with our family. I have a daughter, you know, and her fiancee is refusing to marry her if Alfredo is living with you.
<Violetta> ......
<Alfredo's father> ......
<Violetta> ..........
<Alfredo's father> ...please?
<Violetta> Oh, ok, ok. I'll dump him.
<Alfredo's father> Yay!
<Violetta> I'm writing him a shitty letter. Be here to console him when he gets it.
<Alfredo's father> Ok! (hides)

<Alfredo> Hi, Violetta! Why so sad?
<Violetta> Oh, nothing, nothing. Look! I'm smiling! I love you! Bye! (runs off)

<Servant> (wanders by, hands Alfredo a letter)
<Letter> Hi! I'm dumping you and going back to the Baron. Cause you know, he's rich. Love, Violetta
<Alfredo> OMFG NO.
<Alfredo's father> Hi, son! I know you just got dumped by your girlfriend, and I'm really happy about that! God answered my prayers! Now you can go back to being a son I can be proud of!
<Alfredo> ......
<Alfredo's father> ...why don't you want to hug me?
<Alfredo> OMFG REVENGE.

(Scene: a party. Again.)

<Flora> Oh, we'll have a nice party! I also invited Violetta and Alfredo.
<Some guy> Oh, you hadn't heard? They quarrelled.
<Flora> What?!

<Partygoers> YAY PARTY!

<Alfredo> Hey look, I'm winning lots of money at this card game. Lucky at games, unlucky in love, I guess it's true.

<Violetta> Alfredo! You need to leave here. The Baron wants to kill you!
<Alfredo> Fine, I'm going, if you come with me.
<Violetta> Can't. Promised I wouldn't.
<Alfredo> To? The Baron? You love him then?
<Violetta> ...well what does it LOOK like?
<Alfredo> OMFG HONOR HURT HEY PARTYGOERS COME HERE.
<Partygoers> What?
<Alfredo> You know this woman, right?
<Partygoers> ...um, yes, she's Violetta.
<Alfredo> Do you know what she did?
<Partygoers> ...?
<Alfredo> She sold all her stuff to finance her life with me!
<Partygoers> ...that's nice of her?
<Alfredo> So I'm calling you all as witnesses! I've now repaid my debt to her! (throws money in Violetta's face)
<Partygoers> ......OMFG RAR YOU ASSHOLE YOU OFFENDED A WOMAN YOU SUCK GO AWAY.
<Alfredo> ...
<Alfredo's father> OMFG RAR YOU ASSHOLE YOU OFFENDED A WOMAN YOU ARE NOT MY SON ANY LONGER.
<Alfredo> ......

ACT 3
(Scene: a tiny apartment.)

<Violetta> I'm dying, woe is me. (pulls out a letter)
<Letter> Hi! I told Alfredo the truth. Now he is coming to you so you'll forgive him. Love, Alfredo's father
<Violetta> Too late, I'm dying, woe is me.
<Alfredo> (bursts into the apartment) LOVE! My father told me everything. I'm guilty. Forgive me. I love you!
<Violetta> Oh love! I am so happy! You're here! I love you!
<Alfredo> We'll leave Paris, you'll get better, we'll live happily forever and ever!
<Violetta> We'll leave Paris, I'll get better, we'll live happily forever and ever! ...oh wait. I'm dying. Woe is me!
<Alfredo> Woe is us!
<Alfredo's father> (bursts into the apartment) I heard you're dying! That sucks! I'm sorry I hurt you! Woe is us!
<Violetta> Oh! Wait! I'm feeling all better! I'm not dying any longer!
<Alfredo> ...
<Alfredo's father> ...
<Violetta> ...oh nevermind. (dies)
<Alfredo> Woe is us!
<Alfredo's father> Woe is us!

THE END.