And now for the newest installment of...

Dearest Client Services critters:

Yes, I do understand that space is at a premium in your office small squished long rectangular bit that passes for an office. However, if you ever again reach over into my office and set your half-empty drink right on the table where I am working on an open computer, with computer bits strewn all over the desk, I will eviscerate you with a blunt toothpick.

Dearest numbskull:
I have no idea who you are, but you're the twit who turned off the Router That Should Never Ever Be Turned Off at one of the satellite venues, causing them to have to call IT in to fix the problem, since they couldn't connect to the ticketing server, and have to do manual ticketing in the meantime. Congratulations. Brilliant move, really. What, do I have to put a little sticker on it that says "DO NOT TURN OFF" or something? One would think that if something has lots of blinking lights and lots of cables plugged into it, and you have (presumably) no clue what it is, you'd damn well leave it alone. But I guess not...

Dearest office drones:
For the last time: computers. and. monitors. are. HEAVY. Get out of the way.
The same goes for when I'm carrying drinks, even though they aren't heavy. Would you like your papers or the floor to get a nice bath of orange juice? Didn't think so.

Dearest theatre-goers:
I have not the faintest clue why you think I'm the right person to ask about tickets / directions to wherever / keeping your bag safe / whatever. Let's describe the scene, here...
I'm currently kneeling on the floor, LOOKING at the floor even. I have a roll of tape in my hand. I'm taping down a phone cord. I look quite busy and slightly grumpy.
There's a smiling, Box-Office-type, friendly-looking person, standing not two meters from me and looking directly at you, smiling.
WHY do you ask ME? Did you forget your brain home this evening?

Dearest Box Office person:
Er, yes, that phone doesn't work. Let's backtrack a bit, shall we?
Phone #1 is sitting right next to you on the desk. It has an extension number on it. The phone cord disappears under the desk to who-knows-where - gee, perhaps to where your friendly IT person is sticking phone cord to the ground with tape so you'll not trip over it.
Phone #2 is to your extreme left, you had to reach quite far to get to it. It's brand new, has no extension number on it, and the phone cord is still rolled up in a loop, and obviously goes nowhere.
You picked #2, God knows why. And then asked me why it didn't work.
*headdesk*

Hahaha!
I see nothing has changed in the last 24 hours then.

<quote>Dearest Client Services critters:

Yes, I do understand that space is at a premium in your office small squished long rectangular bit that passes for an office. However, if you ever again reach over into my office and set your half-empty drink right on the table where I am working on an open computer, with computer bits strewn all over the desk, I will eviscerate you with a blunt toothpick.</quote>

I'd have stabbed them with a fork, personally!
*snigger*

You mean you haven't hit anyone with a monitor yet? I'm impressed. I probably would have done by now.

Why ask you? Well, front-desk type people are required to put on a "friendly face" that usually makes them look clueless. They may well not be clueless, in fact they're probably very intelligent, but the friendly face hides it in the name of good customer service. You on the other hand are in the middle of productive stuff and so probably intelligent.

The best thing you can likely do with the public is point at the person to talk to and say something in Italian. Be warned that they may understand you, especially if you swear (it's the first thing Brits learn of new languages).

As for the drink, I would move it somewhere else and forget to tell them.

Aaah. The enjoyable life of an IT technician eagle. If you need to deal a hideous death to someone just pop open the power supply in their machine and remove the fuse.

Ekim: Not so. The first thing Brits learn of a new language is how to order a beer. Then we learn how to swear ;)