The following are rants, in letter format. You could call them "letters to idiots". ;)
Some of them are recent, others have been brewing in my brain for a while and I just got around to posting them now.
Yes, I get grumpy sometimes. Yes, I do believe that ranting is the best way to get rid of the grumpiness. ;)
Rants in the extended entry, as this does get rather lengthy.
Dear Hotmail:
Yes, I'm aware the browser I'm currently using (Konqueror) sucks butt, but I can't do anything about it. (I wanted to install Opera, but no root password, no install. *pout*) However, your suggestion that I install IE6 is rather... well. Let's put it this way. I'm on Linux right now, not Windows. Even if I wanted to install IE, I couldn't.
Furthermore, all I wanted to do was attach a file to a message. Please don't tell me you can't manage to code a function to attach a file to a message that'll work in non-wonderful browsers, too. Gmail managed to. I know, I know, I shouldn't expect Hotmail to work, but...
Dear Konqueror:
No, I don't want to spellcheck every line of text I type. I don't care if you think "java" is not a word - I assure you, it is. Kindly fuck off.
Dear Mandrake 10.1:
What the fuck do you mean, I need a root password to fix the fact that the clock's an hour forward? That's dumb.
Very shiny, though. Almost WinXP-like. Catering to the same sort of users perhaps?
Do get a real browser, though. Please? Even Fairyfux Firefox would do ;_;
Dear illiterate idiot:
It's "Dicembre", not "Dicenbre". Weren't you taught how to spell the names of the months in elementary school? Fair enough, it could be a typo - but you should know the rule with anything that'll go up in public places and be seen by thousands of people: SPELLCHECK SPELLCHECK SPELLCHECK.
Dear inconsiderate little bitch:
I'm coughing and trying to catch my breath after running up a set of stairs. You are deliberately blowing smoke from your cigarette in my face. Quit that, you bitch. I hope your lungs shrivel up and blacken..
Dear woman in a hurry:
They were repainting the parking lines, woman. Traffic cones are not just guidelines. They mean "don't drive here", not "feel free to drive over the fresh paint then bitch at the workmen because you got paint on your wheels".
Dear well-dressed woman:
I know, I know, stinky armpits are an eternal problem. But you see, it would be so much better if you stopped bathing in Chanel N.5 in a futile attempt to cover up the stench and, instead, simply took a shower.
Dear body-building nitwit:
I don't know, maybe as you built up on your muscles your brain shrivelled up. Maybe that explains it. Whatever the reason is for your lack of intellect, please do realize that pushing with all your might on the door will do sweet fuck all. Try pulling. It's only written on the door itself, after all. It's not like there's any indication that pulling is what you need to do.
Dear substitute teacher:
It would be appreciated if you could give us the name of the class in the exercise we're doing immediately, so we can save it with ProperFilename.java instead of either 1. not saving until "public static void main" turns up in what you're scribbling on the whiteboard 2. having to change the filename 12987687216 times.
Furthermore, it would be wonderful if you could try not to forget such tiny details as =s, ()s and ;s when copying an exercise from your book to the whiteboard. They are, after all, rather essential - and the last thing I want is to have to debug code I didn't write while you cling to your book and insist everything's ok and you don't know why the class is not compiling.
Also, please please PLEASE do not forget to copy WHOLE LINES.
Dear annoying people:
No, I don't want to know what the Bible says. No, I don't want to know who I should vote for. No, I don't care if the Bible predicted the tsunami that happened back in December (before the tsunami, it was 9/11 - do you people have no shame?). No, I don't want to know why you think I should vote for J. Random Politician. No, I don't want to be converted. No, I don't want to be told to vote for J. Random Fuckwit "before the immigrants steal all our jobs!!!!". No, I don't want to know what God can do for me. No, I don't want a religious magazine. No, I don't want a political flyer. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, ALREADY.