As soon as you step through the doors, I recognize you, and for once I am glad of the veil that hides my face. You wouldn't like what I have become, that I know for sure.
Hs it really been only five years since we last saw each other? You hated me at that last moment, I know, when I chose to leave with the Starielas.
And who would have expected it to get to this point? Who would have thought that my inner power, my Source, could be so strong that after two years I would be already head teacher, and after five head of the order? I had only wanted to learn about my Source, learn to use it, and then go back to the village, go back to you...
The spiral tattoos coiled around my wrists feel like manacles. Would you believe me if I told you?
You are kneeling in front of me, respectfully, as is expected of you. You are speaking of a girl who was born in your village, our village, who is now seven and has expressed the wish to be Source trained, could we train her?
I can only nod mutely, and you stand, your eyes still respectfully lowered, fixed on some point in front of my feet. You have another favor to ask, you say. A personal favor, and you'll understand if it can't be done. There was a girl, in your village, who left to be Source trained five years ago, and you never heard from her again. And you speak my name, and ask if you can see her - see me - and if that is impossible, there is one thing you want to know...
"I only want to know if she is happy."
I feel my hands trembling, and the sudden impulse to lift my veil and call your name. No, I'm not happy, not without you, I miss you immensely... Would you look up if I called you? Would you look up, smile at me, and hug me like in the old times? Or would you be angry, angry at me for hiding this from you, and would you hate me for not coming back? What would you do if I called your name?

[ 9/23/2002 04:30:58 PM | ]